


Hidden Scar

by icewhisper



Series: Holiday Cheer & Tears [19]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Discussion of Past Suicide Attempt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 04:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17073842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icewhisper/pseuds/icewhisper
Summary: Mick didn’t notice the first time they fell into bed. Not the second, either. Or the third.





	Hidden Scar

**Author's Note:**

> There's discussion of a past suicide attempt in this one.

Mick didn’t notice the first time they fell into bed. Not the second, either. Or the third.

When he did notice, it was sometime after he’d quit counting and just accepted that him and Len falling into beds together was a new habit. They’d stumbled back into his shitty apartment, teeth grazing against the skin of Len’s neck in a way he _knew_ made the guy moan. It worked like it always seemed to and he pushed him onto the bed with the same roughness they usually had.

Maybe the light was better, he thought, or maybe it was simply because of the angle. Rushed moments in dim safehouses always meant a half-hearted power struggle before Len ended up bent over a bed that creaked too much.

He was pretty sure Len liked where he ended up. The asshole just liked to fuck with him.

In his own bed, though, he laid him out on his back, hands pulling legs open so he could see him in lighting that didn’t suck.

He was prettier than someone that annoying had any right to be, all sharp angles and blue eyes that Mick sometimes thought could see straight into his soul. He skirted the edge of too-skinny with hip bones that stuck out a little more than they should, but it wasn’t like the models starting to cover the front pages on the magazines. It was just _Len_ , there and real in ways that Mick had appreciated when they were kids and had depended on since his family died.

Len was there. Len was constant.

Len wasn’t his, though. They didn’t put a name to what they were doing or to the apparent inevitability that they’d come back to each other, but Mick knew what he was feeling. Thought he might know what Len was feeling in the ways Len arched into his touch instead of away from it.

They fucked and Mick sucked marks onto Len’s neck and he watched Len unravel beneath him. It was something else, he thought, watching how Len could let go sometimes. How unguarded. It was raw and Mick thought he might be a little in love with him.

He kissed Len’s jaw after, huffing out a little laugh as he settled next to him. “It’s better in a bed,” he commented.

“The warehouses just creep you out,” Len teased as he twisted to grab his pack of cigarettes from his pants.

“They literally creep out everybody but you,” Mick said, still grinning as he reached out to take the cigarette from Len. It was probably a good thing it wasn’t lit, because his eyes caught sight of Len’s arm in the light and his fingers went limp. “What is that?”

“What?”

“Your arm.”

To his credit, Len didn’t freeze up. He looked at his arm and shrugged. “Told you. My dad can’t always find an ashtray.”

It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t what Mick was talking about, and Len fucking knew it. “Not that one,” he said as he caught Len by the wrist with one hand and used his other to touch the long scar that stretched from wrist to elbow. “This one.”

Len was quiet for a few seconds before he pulled his arm free and reached for his shirt. “You know what it is.”

He did. He’d spent enough years getting shuffled between juvie and psych hospitals to know what it looks like when someone tries to cut their arm wide open. “Lenny…”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fucking _fine_! If you-”

“It was two years ago, Mick.”

Mick stilled. “Two? You never… How?”

Len tugged his pants on before he sat back on the edge of the bed. “You were in juvie again. Lisa was at summer camp. I went to a shitty place and…” He waved his arm vaguely. “My grandfather found me. Docs shoved me at some shrinks.”

“You don’t go to therapy.”

“I quit before you got out. Docs stopped caring.” And his grandfather died, Mick remembered. If Lisa didn’t know, there wasn’t anyone that would care enough to make him go. Fuck knew Lewis wouldn’t want to spend the money. “I’m fine.”

Mick wanted to argue. Len wasn’t fine. You couldn’t just be fine after something like that and a few months of therapy. He knew Len. He knew how Len had dodged questions with the juvie shrinks until they’d all but given up.

He _thought_ he knew Len. How well could he know him if he hadn’t known about this?

“That’s why you always wanted to fuck in the dark, isn’t it?” he accused. “You didn’t want me to see.”

“I’ve got a lot of scars,” Len replied. “I don’t like any of them on display. Wasn’t just about that one.”

“Is it the only time you’ve…”

Len nodded and Mick felt himself relax a little. “I don’t want to do it again,” he added. “Before you ask.”

“Good.” Mick swallowed. “Good. I…”

“I know.”

He met Len’s eyes, searching, and… Yeah. Okay. Len knew. Mick was apparently as subtle as a brick about his feelings, Len knew, and he wasn’t running. That was good. Real good. He wasn’t losing him today and he hadn’t lost him two years ago. If he kept telling himself that, maybe he’d stop shaking.

“If you start feeling like it again-”

“I’ve still got Dr. Lu’s number,” Len said, “and my own cash to see her if I gotta.”

“You’d go without being forced?” Mick asked skeptically.

Len shrugged. “She wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re saying that about a shrink?” Mick joked weakly. “She must be amazing.”

“Put my head on straight,” Len said. “Mostly. There’s some straight stuff-”

“Don’t even.”

Len settled back down next to him, clothed next to Mick’s still naked form. “I didn’t have to finish it for you to know what I meant.”

“And I regret every day that I know you that well.”

“No you don’t.”

Mick hummed softly and leaned in to kiss him. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get sappy on me.”

The End


End file.
